A Bachelors Blog

I’m really struggling here. I’m trying pretty damn hard to make some sense of where I am and what I am looking for, and so far it is a twisting path leading in big roundabout circles. Rather annoying to be honest. It’s the note about the dream. It’s the book about finding our way. It’s the ceaseless unease sitting directly in the middle of my stomach like some kind of bullseye waiting for the arrow to hit it’s mark. The good news... as it were. 1) Im not alone. Not by a long shot. 2) The process, whatever it is for me, takes a long time. 3) Even the act of questioning and writing all of this down right now is a step. .. Towards what? I have no idea really. I have some naive hopes and foolish aspirations. What do I want to do? What do I want to be? Who am I? Where is my heart tugging and railing to go to? Okay... try to break it down just a little bit... one piece of the puzzle at a time. My job. I am pretty damn close to truly being unhappy there. Every day gets harder. What...

Exhaustion is such an apt word. Or Fatigue. Or a bit from column A and a dab from column B. Today I skipped everything....except for the volunteering. That had to happen. Did you know that soup kitchens have what I refer to as "cool days" to volunteer on? Yeah, Friday is the day for extra hands on deck for some odd reason... I guess it's like the religious version of a school field trip. "C'mon folks, lets go see where God lives, we can hang out and then ditch that old fart for some cool new Christian music from Vineyard!" Tuesday. That's going to be the new volunteer day for me I think. But maybe I'll stick with Friday as well, two days is always better than one, although that whole "feeding the poor" thing has been cutting deeply into my nap times. We shall see if my body allows for it. I also need this bit of a break to allow the hip to heal. Don't bother asking what the deal is there, as I have no idea outside of ...