Busiest winter of one's life....
Exhaustion is such an apt word. Or Fatigue. Or a bit from column A and a dab from column B.
Today I skipped everything....except for the volunteering. That had to happen. Did you know that soup kitchens have what I refer to as "cool days" to volunteer on? Yeah, Friday is the day for extra hands on deck for some odd reason... I guess it's like the religious version of a school field trip.
"C'mon folks, lets go see where God lives, we can hang out and then ditch that old fart for some cool new Christian music from Vineyard!"
Tuesday. That's going to be the new volunteer day for me I think. But maybe I'll stick with Friday as well, two days is always better than one, although that whole "feeding the poor" thing has been cutting deeply into my nap times. We shall see if my body allows for it.
I also need this bit of a break to allow the hip to heal. Don't bother asking what the deal is there, as I have no idea outside of standing hurts. You can only Icepack one's ass for so long and with so much of a response. I just want to heal up... the pain is an ugly green that likes to shoot down into my leg when I am doing fun stuff.... like standing. Or walking down stairs. Or sleeping.
It'll get better. I trust the ole body.
It is now March 1st. For any banker types, RRSP season is now over. .... thank God. Maybe I need some vacation time, or a job shift... Maybe I need a kick to the brain?
That last one will be happening soon enough. Hence the hurting body parts. Training.
I realize I spend an inordinately large amount of time at the airport, seeing people off. That is a sad place for me. Literally. I don't have that nervous pre-flight excitement, I'm not privy to the butterflies in the belly as you step through the security gates...
I'm standing, waving, and walking back to my car and driving home. A vacation would be nice. It really has been a long time since I was on a flight. 2001 I think.
I'm somewhat rambling tonight. Lots of different thoughts and ideas are competing for my elusive attention, but all I am thinking about are the lyrics to the song thats playing.
Great Lake Swimmers - Your Rocky Spine.
It's melancholy like Blue Rodeo, but pretty for all that. Hard to explain, easy to listen to, so don't take my word for it.
I miss someone more than I expected to. I received my final letter in the mail closing out a large and difficult chapter of my life. The hole is still there, as are the reminders. I watched a telephone pole burst into flames while at work during a snowstorm, and it was the most surreal and beautiful thing I have seen in a long time....
There is a golden filtering of light that is warming me from the inside out, and the dream is the near reality swirling through the bleak fog of everyday.
I'm feeling awake again. The pain rushes back in like a dam that has broken, but so too does the simple joy, the determination and the hope... It's not all bad, and it's not always bad.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this, as it's hard to see the forest for all of the trees.
2 months into 2008 and I am not sure if things could really be going much better than they are. All things considered of course.
I want to dream the dream.... the one where I climb the mountain and stand on the edge of the cliff face and just let the wind scoop me up and over the lip and I am flying. I want to dream that dream again, only because it is very close to how I am feeling inside these days. It's all making some kind of sense. For that I am glad. For that I am free.
So squint up at the Moon as the white ring flows around its edges, stare at the dappled shadows along the path as you sit on the bench and wait for nothing in particular, listen to the noises and smell the scents that drift through the air, waiting to be captured...
Spring is a quiet train snaking along on its winding tracks, barrelling towards us, and I'm ok with that.
I should sleep. Long day tomorrow.
I wonder what Annie is dreaming.
Today I skipped everything....except for the volunteering. That had to happen. Did you know that soup kitchens have what I refer to as "cool days" to volunteer on? Yeah, Friday is the day for extra hands on deck for some odd reason... I guess it's like the religious version of a school field trip.
"C'mon folks, lets go see where God lives, we can hang out and then ditch that old fart for some cool new Christian music from Vineyard!"
Tuesday. That's going to be the new volunteer day for me I think. But maybe I'll stick with Friday as well, two days is always better than one, although that whole "feeding the poor" thing has been cutting deeply into my nap times. We shall see if my body allows for it.
I also need this bit of a break to allow the hip to heal. Don't bother asking what the deal is there, as I have no idea outside of standing hurts. You can only Icepack one's ass for so long and with so much of a response. I just want to heal up... the pain is an ugly green that likes to shoot down into my leg when I am doing fun stuff.... like standing. Or walking down stairs. Or sleeping.
It'll get better. I trust the ole body.
It is now March 1st. For any banker types, RRSP season is now over. .... thank God. Maybe I need some vacation time, or a job shift... Maybe I need a kick to the brain?
That last one will be happening soon enough. Hence the hurting body parts. Training.
I realize I spend an inordinately large amount of time at the airport, seeing people off. That is a sad place for me. Literally. I don't have that nervous pre-flight excitement, I'm not privy to the butterflies in the belly as you step through the security gates...
I'm standing, waving, and walking back to my car and driving home. A vacation would be nice. It really has been a long time since I was on a flight. 2001 I think.
I'm somewhat rambling tonight. Lots of different thoughts and ideas are competing for my elusive attention, but all I am thinking about are the lyrics to the song thats playing.
Great Lake Swimmers - Your Rocky Spine.
It's melancholy like Blue Rodeo, but pretty for all that. Hard to explain, easy to listen to, so don't take my word for it.
I miss someone more than I expected to. I received my final letter in the mail closing out a large and difficult chapter of my life. The hole is still there, as are the reminders. I watched a telephone pole burst into flames while at work during a snowstorm, and it was the most surreal and beautiful thing I have seen in a long time....
There is a golden filtering of light that is warming me from the inside out, and the dream is the near reality swirling through the bleak fog of everyday.
I'm feeling awake again. The pain rushes back in like a dam that has broken, but so too does the simple joy, the determination and the hope... It's not all bad, and it's not always bad.
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this, as it's hard to see the forest for all of the trees.
2 months into 2008 and I am not sure if things could really be going much better than they are. All things considered of course.
I want to dream the dream.... the one where I climb the mountain and stand on the edge of the cliff face and just let the wind scoop me up and over the lip and I am flying. I want to dream that dream again, only because it is very close to how I am feeling inside these days. It's all making some kind of sense. For that I am glad. For that I am free.
So squint up at the Moon as the white ring flows around its edges, stare at the dappled shadows along the path as you sit on the bench and wait for nothing in particular, listen to the noises and smell the scents that drift through the air, waiting to be captured...
Spring is a quiet train snaking along on its winding tracks, barrelling towards us, and I'm ok with that.
I should sleep. Long day tomorrow.
I wonder what Annie is dreaming.
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