The Odds, the Ends and everything in between

It Falls Apart, in little pieces on the floor..

 - The Odds

  A great lyric from a classic 90s rock band. Alright! Canadian Content is now covered, as per CRTC requirements. 

Ryan Zammit is winning...

 I think maybe I’ll start referring to myself in the third person because that’s what the best people do. Or something.  Whatever.  

  

 Another hectic few months has come and gone, winter is winding its way down into the early swing of spring and I’m a ok with that. I’m pretty sure everyone can attest to the sense of this winter being a real grinder.  

   Don’t get me wrong, for all the bumps in the road, I’m surprisingly upbeat.  My Dad is working his way through the chemo in his usual Dad way; bad Dad jones, dry humour and constantly making new friends out of strangers haha. I love the guy and he’s the standard I am living by these days.  Everything else can be categorized as just details. The job, the funds, the house, the stressors...

None of it has any meaning to me anymore.  My Dad means everything.  I find myself mentally willing him to get better, as if my mental focus can be transferred to him to feel better from. Maybe it’s working, maybe not, but he’s staying as upbeat as the old grump can be. 

  I try not to worry about him. Instead I focus on the career pathing, the bills, the friends and family that aren’t half a country away and not easily accessible with a quick drive for tea or a beer. This time in my life has been a real test. Keeping my dads resolve to fight with a joke and a goofy smile in my mind, it’s making this a pretty easy test in life, and also affirming that 1) I am not my job.  I do not find my ‘self’ in work. I get rewards for doing well and passing challenges that I set for myself.  But work is work.  That isn’t my identity 2) I don’t need stuff. Don’t get me wrong here, I sure like stuff and it makes life more comfortable and I’m all about being comfortable but I am ok to walk away from stuff if life and situation requires it of me. I refuse to be tied down to things, preferring to be tied down to the relationships and people that actually matter and add to my life. 3) This too shall pass - come what may, I can get through it and move to a new adventure and challenge.  Always being ready to find the opportunity and take time to enjoy the challenges that life is throwing at me instead of bitching about them... it’s an important lesson for me. 

4)Live in the moment.  Feel what I’m feeling and then move on. I have every right to be angry, pissy, sour, petty, and cantankerous but who does that help? Moreover, who does that hurt? And who wants to be around that kind of person anyway? Not me. So why do I want to be that guy?

5)Think Happy Thoughts - I stole this from the Peter Pan Movie Pan, when the lost boys are trying to teach Peter how to fly. Tink Happy Tots hahahah


  Look, I know this all sounds cliche and fluffy but it comes from hard, painful experience.  And very recent experience. If I can ride the storm with the people around me for support and an attitude set on winning, anyone can do it.  No guarantees of success, life refuses to work that way, but your odds go way up, and I like playing those odds when it falls apart...

...

...

See what I did there? With the tie in from the intro? Ahhhh, I’m clever 


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