Time outs

It's been awhile since my last post.  I know that I trend this way at times.  Fits and starts of writing then radio silence before finding the time/energy to post a slew of articles like a shotgun blast.  Rinse, and repeat. 
This past while has been a bit different.  I seemed to be stuck with a bad case of the "feels" after allowing myself to fall for someone over the summer. 
Woops, my mistake!

Whew! Now that that's over with...
Well it's not over with but I don't carry the weight of trepidation towards writing here again. The hurt fades and the memories pull back and life continues, it's the same old story on a brand new day. 

I've made some positive changes in my life and slowly (hopefully) the ship is being steered into a new and enjoyable direction in my life. Let's abuse the old "new chapter" analogy here because #reasons 
Yeah so I just hashtagged my own blog like a real champ. 
My new co-pilot. Darth doesn't let me down! 

The temptation to spill the beans on my up and coming items is very strong right now and I sure am a sucker for temptation 

So! I will leak one of the things happening soon for me. I'll be getting my first tattoo done in a very short time. After my "attack of the feels" and subsequent heart break, I needed a change so the dramatic and life altering inking of mine own flesh was set in motion! 
"What could possibly go wrong?" - famous last words...

Writing right now feels forced and a little bit awkward.  My mental tools are a bit stuff and rusty, and I'll admit, sore and sad from the pain of the last time they were implemented. Obviously I'm not done with the "feels" but it really has gotten better and the mere fact of writing all of this is a good indicator of another step beyond the summer and all the good and sad that it brought me. 

I'm learning that as a person, I need to figure out life lessons the hard way. I'm slow and stubborn most times and I can really just not "get it". I've always been a late bloomer in my life (my last growth spurt was when I was 21), and life is a harsh teacher sometimes but I'm picking things up.  I'd like to think I've ratcheted up the pace a little bit after this summers long shot gamble. I DID learn a few things about my future and my happiness, and have since planned around that. 
I started an Instagram account (RyanZamm) at the urging (peer pressure) 

of my friends to offset my lack of writing/blogging as well as the time away from Facebook that I took for a month or so for Christmas (my gift to myself). I try to always keep it as light and funny as possible because seriously, life is too short and hard and sad and if you can't laugh then you sir/ma'am... Are fucked. Proper fucked. 

To end this off... I've been on a bit of a Third Eye Blind kick lately and I'm digging on a few songs but one in particular I will share. 
http://youtu.be/amj-p5OueoM
Crystal Baller. 
Now no one go and deeply read and/or analyzing what this means, I just really relate to the lyric ..."I wonder why the wind keeps blowing you through my mind..." Amongst others. 
Cheers folks and remember to laugh

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