Wow!!

So my optimistic "Ill write out my blog ideas next weekend" turned into five weeks or so...  It's been that frenetic.
  And I am currently listening to a song with dripping water and man does that make me wanna go pee.  I digress...

 Also, I tend to start posts and paragraphs with the word So.  I was once told that my best stories would always begin with a deep breath, a 'So" and then a bloated pause before the ridiculousness would begin.  Indeed.

 Getting back to my ideas on marriage as well as other things... I will tell you all this.  Marriage needs to change. Like TV had to change, and humans had to change, and the dinosaurs had to cha...oh...err.. yeah... you see what happens when change is not factored in?  
  Personally, my view is that Marriage is now unnecessary in our cosmopolitan and ever changing "family dynamic". The world has changed so much and the advent of the Interweb and Divorce losing its social stigma's across the cultural demographics across the globe, well... just look at the divorce rates;

Canadian Divorce Statistics

Updated June 2, 2010

 Do 50 per cent of all marriages end in divorce? While divorce rates have increased greatly since the introduction of Divorce Laws in 1968, actual divorce rates have been decreasing in Canada since the 1990’s.  The 50 per cent fallacy is false because it compares incompatible numbers.

 

• The crude divorce rate in Canada has decreased (per 100,000 population) from a high of 362.3 in 1987 to 220.7 in 2005. [1]

• In Nova Scotia, Ontario, British Columbia, the Yukon and Nunavut the total number of new divorce cases has declined 6 per cent over the four year period ending in 3008/2009. [2]

 

• The percentage of marriages in a given year that will end in divorce before their 30th wedding anniversary has increased slightly from 36.1 per cent in 1998 to 37.9 per cent in 2004. [3]

 

• In 2003, the risk of divorce decreased slowly the longer a couple stayed married beyond three years. [4]

 

• The divorce rate for first marriages is likely lower; “first marriages have a 67% chance of lasting a lifetime.” [5]

 

• “20% of all divorces in Canada are a repeat divorce for at least one of the spouses.” [6]

 

• In 2002, the average age at divorce was 43.1 for men and 40.5 for women. [7]

 

• On average, men who divorced in 2002 were married at the age of 28.9, while women had married at the age of 26.3. [8]

  http://imfcanada.org/default.aspx?go=article&aid=1182&tid=8

The link at the bottom here leads to the site where I shamelessly filched this info. The end notes at the bottom have some really interesting and enlightening links for your perusal, should you care.

  The good news... Canada's divorce rates are roughly 35%. So one of three couples will divorce.  Not too bad you may think?  The experts seem to  think that this number will be stable and this is newly accurate info dating back to this past June.  The 50% fallacy is no longer, and its exclusive to the US first and foremost.

  Here's where we get dicey. Of these marriages... how many are happily together?  I keep meeting married folks who will easily and quickly cheat on their partners, who express (repeatedly) their current misery and desire to escape the 'trap' of their marriage. 

  I have noticed alot of folks aren't communicating this info to their significant others, and that is really their business. I'm not here to break down the 'why' of a failed marriage. Some end amicably, some in a flaming train wreck of anger, hurt feelings, and bitter meanness.

  I'm here to try and rescue the sanctity of the Marriage Institution, even as I am not particularly a fan ( I have found that folks tend to change and their 'real' self will show after married, when they feel that its ok to truly be themselves, effectively trapping someone into marriage). Alright, personal diatribe is done!

  My thought are simple here. Marriage should be a Five Year renewable contract.  I have noticed that the troubles always happen at the 2 year, 5 year and more infrequently the 7 year mark.  The article indicates as well...the longer you last the better the odds. The "7 year itch" has always been an acknowledged problem in North American marriages.

  So!! Basically to avoid the evil spectre of divorce (Enter scary organ music here) I think folks would do better with a contract that would run much like a Pre-nuptual agreement... but basically it would 'fall off' after the 5 year mark, unless you chose, much like renewing a term for a Mortgage, to renew it... you could make a celebration out of it if you chose to.  The idea here is simply..if you are with someone and you stop loving them for whatever reason (Whatever the hell THATS supposed to mean), then you stick it out for the time frame, and then it ends. You set up the contract that you keep what you came in with, and you would agree to rules for the children (If any) IE two weeks with mum, two weeks with dad. Also in agreeance would be the 'stuff'.  Split equally between both parties.. either sold or agreed to amicably shortly before the term was up.

  I think this would save a lot of grief with Divorce rates, as well as the bastard lawyers and the ugliness of a bad break up can be more easily resolved when there is a framework in place to guide you out of the process of marriage, just as there is one to guide you in.

  

  Now, don't get me wrong here folks! I'm a fan of marriage, but have only borne witness to a small number of truly happy couples who married for the right reasons and are now reaping the extensive rewards of a proper and joyous union.  

  Our attitudes have changed with the advent of divorce... We want everything now, and divorce is just an easy out. No one wants to work at things anymore, and thats fine, totally your right as an individual, but why get married in the first place if you wont work your ass off for it.  The reality is that Marriage is a shit ton of work and hardhardhard!  People are so cavalier about getting into one, and enjoy the "Its all about me" attitude (Think of Bridezilla), that they forget about the reality of the next 50 years with one person after the limelight is gone.

  I have more details and info I could write about, but my writing hand is sore and the rest are just that, details. 

  I think life for people would be much happier, more stress free, and less inclined to get complacent and take advantage of their significant others if they know that they should continue to woo their lovers, not cheat, not lie, not be mean spirited or call them names... This 5 year system would force couples to keep working at it if they cared enough..and if they dont care enough..then like their 'love' for eachother... it would simply drop off after time, and you could both walk away in relatively good conscience.

  Divorce would still be called for if you could not wait for the 5 year term to end, fine. That would be your choice... or in a case of violence or criminal activity or even endangerment through whatever process (IE like a meth lab in your basement as a hobby and extra source of income). 

  These are wholly my thoughts, and truly are my way of salvaging an antiquated but still worthy tradition with both cultural and religious merit.  

  Rant off.