A Bachelors Blog

I am stupid tired.     I can say that I have aquired a car.  Not the sexiest beast on the road, not by far...but it works well and thats all I need.  One less thing to worry about...sort of.  Temporary room mate is gone. House is a mess but I have cleaned as much as I could today as well as the insane amount of the other things that needed doing.... blah... brain aches.    Learning much, moving fast, starting the final cleanup and gearing up for the move next week.  Life just wont stop being ridiculous.....   So much swirling around, so much happening, so much to retain, change, let go of, walk away from, run towards.... I need some sleep. Speaking to Brother, I felt that things are changing..... that we are becoming the vehicle of change in our own circumstances... For once, this 'family curse' of ours may be getting strangled into the dust.  Good things look to be on the way.... maybe a Brave New World.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms, but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.   --Pablo Naruta, Sonnet #17

It's a few days early, I know, but I fear I may not be online for the most special of days and wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, and I miss you dearly, every single day. So much I would like for you to know, so much to share, but mostly I wanted you to know that I care, I love you, I miss you tremendously. There is a song I listen to that will always remind me of you...and like a silly fool, I exchange the word baby, for Annie.  Its something I used to do when we were first separated and I would be on the road to come visit you. I still have the rocking chair I would rock you to sleep in, and that song would play, in my mind or on the radio... Its a special memory...the only gift I can now offer you.  I wish it were not so inadequate. Baby, I miss you so much.  I will never stop thinking of or missing you.... Its all I can offer now... Happy Birthday, sweetheart.  

I am off to the Tool Concert.... should be pretty epic!!!    So Happy America Day to all of my friends in the south and the Ex Pats around the world... we had quite a Canada Day Party, hope yours is as good... I will celebrate your day listening to one of your most talented musicians.   Tomorrow I move out of town officially.  Not sure about internet access and whatnot, so if this blog goes into Shadow Land for awhile... Fear Not!!!    I am battling fiends and monsters and will emerge victorious.... and many tales will I bring with me.   On a last note for today.... driving out of town yesterday morning.. I had to drive underneath the starting of a funnel cloud ... one of the creepiest things I have ever done.. but it didnt fully form, thank God, and the experience was amazing.. who needs caffeine to wake up when you have that site..and so much lightning that my radio station was fizzling out.    Good times.

God I LOVE this country!!!!!