Perspective...
We all try to keep things in proper perspective. No one wants a $230 speeding ticket, but does that give us carte blanche to fly off the handle and act foolishly?
Well, when I received mine in the mail, all I could do was shrug, mutter a quiet "shit", and get on with the rest of my day. What's done is done...right?
Things have been a bit rocky for me this past while, and overall I think I have weathered it decently. Not perfectly mind you, but in reflection, having these same issues even two or three years ago, I would have been less... elegant, in my responses.
I bring this up simply because of an email from my best friend. After lamenting, and to be honest, some outright whining, I unfolded my last few months and vented the built up stress.
His response was not exactly elegant. But then again, he isn't my best friend because I need an elegant response every time. He was truthful and somewhat blunt in a very uncharacteristic way. Maybe I needed that, maybe not, but it made me reconsider my life-position.
So I thought back about what he wrote, mainly the issue of dealing with the stressful situation appropriately.
In my car wreck, I was the calm one. Believe that or not, but the two women were kind of freaking out, one wanting to fight the other, and the other, the cause of it all, was just mortified and apologetic, and going into low grade shock.
The gentleman whom I ended up under was calm as well although standoffish and disengaged from everything.
First thing was that we were choking traffic completely, so as the women started to yell at one another, I asked everyone to roll their vehicles off to the side of the road, so we could exchange info in relative safety.
We all complied and parked the vehicles, I was secretly astounded that the Bee could still drive, tough little bugger.
I advised that we all swap phone numbers, plate numbers and make and models, etc. They started that while I went into the street and tried to clear most of the debris from the street to avoid a popped tire. Most of the damage was on my car and alot of glass and plastic was in the road.
That done, I tried to calm the one aggressive girl down with a few small jokes about not drunk texting me now that they all had my digits, and pointedly asked the ladies to 'please just chill. I'm the one who has to walk home today, you all can drive. Oh and by the way, it's my birthday today.... so it could be worse for everyone.'
Surprisingly, my quietly sarcastic remarks got through and tensions eased. Everyone was ok, except me with some whiplash that appeared days later, but even that is a small thing.
I didn't raise my voice, I didn't rant and rave and go berserk, I didn't do much of anything....
I said it plainly to everyone before we all parted ways. 'It's done, for better or worse, it's done and we need to deal with it and just move on.'
So back to my friends advice; yes, I think I have been coping but every once and a little while I find the weight of carrying all these burdens somewhat stifling and I need to vent. Sometimes you want to feel sorry for yourself, and why not? No one else is!
But the flip side of that coin is that my best buddy may have needed my attentive ear, and it isn't always about me, no matter how sensational the current drama is.
I listened, offered advice and support, and commiserated. I know he is dealing with alot right now, and I need to be able to support him as he has done for me many times before.
To try and wrap my head around all the crap that a person deals with, I was watching CBC tonight and a show aired about a local man named Serge, from the Congo who's family was massacred and he was left in a hole for ten months, beaten, tortured, and near death, before escaping. Now, he is officially a Canadian citizen and immensely proud to be! He says this country saved his life and the peace he found here is immeasurable.
Of course the world is small enough that I happen to know of this gentleman through a good friend of mine, as my friend had told me Serges story over a year ago. Serge taught my friend French, and my friend was teaching Serge Polish.
Small world, hey?
Things really could be worse. Even so, there will always be hope for a better day to come.
Well, when I received mine in the mail, all I could do was shrug, mutter a quiet "shit", and get on with the rest of my day. What's done is done...right?
Things have been a bit rocky for me this past while, and overall I think I have weathered it decently. Not perfectly mind you, but in reflection, having these same issues even two or three years ago, I would have been less... elegant, in my responses.
I bring this up simply because of an email from my best friend. After lamenting, and to be honest, some outright whining, I unfolded my last few months and vented the built up stress.
His response was not exactly elegant. But then again, he isn't my best friend because I need an elegant response every time. He was truthful and somewhat blunt in a very uncharacteristic way. Maybe I needed that, maybe not, but it made me reconsider my life-position.
So I thought back about what he wrote, mainly the issue of dealing with the stressful situation appropriately.
In my car wreck, I was the calm one. Believe that or not, but the two women were kind of freaking out, one wanting to fight the other, and the other, the cause of it all, was just mortified and apologetic, and going into low grade shock.
The gentleman whom I ended up under was calm as well although standoffish and disengaged from everything.
First thing was that we were choking traffic completely, so as the women started to yell at one another, I asked everyone to roll their vehicles off to the side of the road, so we could exchange info in relative safety.
We all complied and parked the vehicles, I was secretly astounded that the Bee could still drive, tough little bugger.
I advised that we all swap phone numbers, plate numbers and make and models, etc. They started that while I went into the street and tried to clear most of the debris from the street to avoid a popped tire. Most of the damage was on my car and alot of glass and plastic was in the road.
That done, I tried to calm the one aggressive girl down with a few small jokes about not drunk texting me now that they all had my digits, and pointedly asked the ladies to 'please just chill. I'm the one who has to walk home today, you all can drive. Oh and by the way, it's my birthday today.... so it could be worse for everyone.'
Surprisingly, my quietly sarcastic remarks got through and tensions eased. Everyone was ok, except me with some whiplash that appeared days later, but even that is a small thing.
I didn't raise my voice, I didn't rant and rave and go berserk, I didn't do much of anything....
I said it plainly to everyone before we all parted ways. 'It's done, for better or worse, it's done and we need to deal with it and just move on.'
So back to my friends advice; yes, I think I have been coping but every once and a little while I find the weight of carrying all these burdens somewhat stifling and I need to vent. Sometimes you want to feel sorry for yourself, and why not? No one else is!
But the flip side of that coin is that my best buddy may have needed my attentive ear, and it isn't always about me, no matter how sensational the current drama is.
I listened, offered advice and support, and commiserated. I know he is dealing with alot right now, and I need to be able to support him as he has done for me many times before.
To try and wrap my head around all the crap that a person deals with, I was watching CBC tonight and a show aired about a local man named Serge, from the Congo who's family was massacred and he was left in a hole for ten months, beaten, tortured, and near death, before escaping. Now, he is officially a Canadian citizen and immensely proud to be! He says this country saved his life and the peace he found here is immeasurable.
Of course the world is small enough that I happen to know of this gentleman through a good friend of mine, as my friend had told me Serges story over a year ago. Serge taught my friend French, and my friend was teaching Serge Polish.
Small world, hey?
Things really could be worse. Even so, there will always be hope for a better day to come.
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