A Glimpse, part 2
You open your eyes and the sun is flashing and winking through the trees above you as you stand on a corner, watching your first true love walk away from you. You are 16 and you think you just did the right thing, but have no clue or measure for it.
Clumsy, awkward and doomed to fail, this first sense of true love leaves you feeling dizzy as your palms sweat and your stomach flops around like a landed fish every time you are together. You turn and walk away with determination and an idea of what it's supposed to be like, but really not having any idea at all.
The groundwork is now laid out before you on what to expect, how it looks, and a vague understanding of how you will react and deal with this alien feeling, this cause of so many movies, books, songs, wars, bloodshed, and discord as well as harmony. You also learn the meaning of the word Dichotomy.
fast forward
You are standing at the top of a low rise overlooking a shallow valley with a dirt road stretching over the horizon line. Your platoon is marching in front of you in a staggered formation on both sets of tire ruts in the road, 50 lbs of gear on your backs, 15lbs in your web gear, and assault rifles slung across your chest, muzzle at the left shoulder, rifle stock at the right hip. As you walk through this bowl shaped region your mind wanders back to two alternating songs; Creedence Clearwater Revival's Run through the jungle, and The Police's, Every little thing she does and you don't know why but you are comforted by these songs that play like white noise in your head.
Up ahead your section sargeant's fist goes up and then he makes circular gestures above his head, indicating that you need to hustle over to him for orders.
You are told that the enemy is over this ridge dug into a network of trenches, and you need to attack those trenched "just like we practiced". You nod in understanding, world war two era helmet bobbing back and forth on your head.
You get into the line of fellow soldiers, knowing in the back of your mind that statistically speaking, clearing an enemy trench with two people in it takes roughly three times as many attackers to defeat it. Roughly.
Smoke grenades are popped and white plumes envelop you as well as the entirety of the field of fire in front of you. You quickly, hands shaking, fix your bayonet, knowing it will ruin your ranged accuracy but fearing not having a 'pig-sticker' for when you are in the trenches.
A loud pop to your left, then a long rattle of machine gun fire somewhere ahead of you sets your adrenaline dumping into the blood, heart racing, sweat dripping into the eyes as you rush forward into the gray-white pall as fast as you can.
Loud bangs of grenades as well as the yellow flashes of muzzle fire are seen now as you hit the deck and start firing back.
Now you are disjointed. You close your eyes and you open them as you are about to leap into the trench, firing full bursts from your weapon, stabbing and smashing anything that moves once your 30 round clip is emptied.
You close your eyes only to open them and the battle is beyond you and you are sitting at the bottom of the trench catching your breath.
You have past the first part of your test in the Infantry. You have learned to let out your rage in a controlled fashion, you have learned restraint and forebearence, as well as a sense of who exactly you are as a human being and what you are capable of.
Some lessons are good ones and stay with you, other lessons you spend the rest of your life trying to unwind from the fabric of your soul.
fast forward
Clumsy, awkward and doomed to fail, this first sense of true love leaves you feeling dizzy as your palms sweat and your stomach flops around like a landed fish every time you are together. You turn and walk away with determination and an idea of what it's supposed to be like, but really not having any idea at all.
The groundwork is now laid out before you on what to expect, how it looks, and a vague understanding of how you will react and deal with this alien feeling, this cause of so many movies, books, songs, wars, bloodshed, and discord as well as harmony. You also learn the meaning of the word Dichotomy.
fast forward
You are standing at the top of a low rise overlooking a shallow valley with a dirt road stretching over the horizon line. Your platoon is marching in front of you in a staggered formation on both sets of tire ruts in the road, 50 lbs of gear on your backs, 15lbs in your web gear, and assault rifles slung across your chest, muzzle at the left shoulder, rifle stock at the right hip. As you walk through this bowl shaped region your mind wanders back to two alternating songs; Creedence Clearwater Revival's Run through the jungle, and The Police's, Every little thing she does and you don't know why but you are comforted by these songs that play like white noise in your head.
Up ahead your section sargeant's fist goes up and then he makes circular gestures above his head, indicating that you need to hustle over to him for orders.
You are told that the enemy is over this ridge dug into a network of trenches, and you need to attack those trenched "just like we practiced". You nod in understanding, world war two era helmet bobbing back and forth on your head.
You get into the line of fellow soldiers, knowing in the back of your mind that statistically speaking, clearing an enemy trench with two people in it takes roughly three times as many attackers to defeat it. Roughly.
Smoke grenades are popped and white plumes envelop you as well as the entirety of the field of fire in front of you. You quickly, hands shaking, fix your bayonet, knowing it will ruin your ranged accuracy but fearing not having a 'pig-sticker' for when you are in the trenches.
A loud pop to your left, then a long rattle of machine gun fire somewhere ahead of you sets your adrenaline dumping into the blood, heart racing, sweat dripping into the eyes as you rush forward into the gray-white pall as fast as you can.
Loud bangs of grenades as well as the yellow flashes of muzzle fire are seen now as you hit the deck and start firing back.
Now you are disjointed. You close your eyes and you open them as you are about to leap into the trench, firing full bursts from your weapon, stabbing and smashing anything that moves once your 30 round clip is emptied.
You close your eyes only to open them and the battle is beyond you and you are sitting at the bottom of the trench catching your breath.
You have past the first part of your test in the Infantry. You have learned to let out your rage in a controlled fashion, you have learned restraint and forebearence, as well as a sense of who exactly you are as a human being and what you are capable of.
Some lessons are good ones and stay with you, other lessons you spend the rest of your life trying to unwind from the fabric of your soul.
fast forward
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