Exhaustion
Today, writing is a chore, but a necessary one, much like laundry, housecleaning, and grocery shopping.... and changing the wiper blades on the car. Check, check, check and double check (with a bloody finger as an added bonus).
Been meaning to write this out all weekend, and in the back of my mind, when a spare moment presented, I found myself mentally dictating snippets of prose to be added for what you are in fact reading now. You will see some of my minds pre ordered percolated prose in a few moments.
I have to say.... I am pretty beat. Not quite sure how to start stabbing at the veil of this weekend... sooooo, I'll just take big wild swipes that will make this whole blog seem confusing and a bit stuttery.
But hey, that's been the epitome of my weekend. Not bad, not great... but just ever so slightly off. Like someone singing just a fraction of a second behind the music.
This weekend, things just didnt come together as well as I'd have liked.
Boot camp ended Friday night, and it sure ended on a punishing note. To say that I am still sore and cramping is really a quiet understatement. More like, I am woken in the night from the muscle pain. It was pretty epic, to say the least.
Of course, I will go to the next one when it starts up again on the 3rd.
Most of the weekend plans fell through, as I figured they would considering the way this weekend was going, from large things down to the smallest details. Again, not a bad weekend, just...off. Not much you can do about it....
This morning I was up after only 3 hours of sleep to go to the hospital at 8 am. I went and picked up my sister and my niece at that ungodly hour to go visit the Brother In Law; For the sake of this article, privacy, and my still cramping arms, we will refer to him as BiL going forward.
The story starts Thursday at work. I get a call from BiLs boss asking me if I had seen or heard from him this past week, since Monday, and of course I had not, so he asked me to contact Sis and find out if she had... anyway, a flurry of calls and texts ensue and we learn that BiL is in the ICU at Health Sciences Centre and has been for a couple of days now.
Disconcerting, to say the least.
Short version, the details are still frustratingly unclear but BiL either slipped while drunk and banged his head... OR someone clubbed him in the back of the skull and he fell, further exacerbating the head trauma. BiL doesn't seem to have been mugged as he had a fair amount of untouched money in his wallet, and no video has surfaced of an attacker, although there seems to be video of his actual fall. Strange.
So he is out of sorts and very much not himself these days and it has taken it's toll on Sis. She is tough, and to have phone conversations with her sobbing and looking for comfort... this is not a role I am used to.
It's heartbreaking. We went in there today and he seems to recognize Sis and his children alright, but many a wary glance in my general direction.
Although it's very hard not to take it personally, I have to remind myself that he is not in his right headspace... Eventually he seemed to remember who I was and the role I play in his life. Sis told me afterwards when we were driving home that when I took Niece for a walk to the cafeteria, he asked about her and I by our names.
It surprised me how relieved I was to hear it, like a breath I was holding and didn't realize it until I had finally exhaled.
He seems to be doing ok, our BiL. Every day he gets healthier, but he definitely is not who he was and although the doctors assure us that he has a good chance of full recovery physically and mentally, the fear that he will stay the way he is....
Its a very real fear, and it sucks.
So thats how Sunday started.
Then it was off to Walmart. Only to find it closed till noon. And it was eleven am.
So I found a quiet parking lot and changed my long overdue wiper blades, slashing myself like a pro in the process.... just because I'm cool like that.
I went home and did some laundry instead. Then went back to Walmart later in the afternoon...big mistake.
I may have mentioned this in a past post once or twice, but Walmart... I hate you... and crowds... You suck too!
I DID finally accomplish my secret mission to buy a big fan. I think my sleep issues may just go away now with some circulating air and white noise to lull me off to sleep.
I found myself wishing for my pro shopper today. Could have used the hand and the company, but alas... the out of sync weekend would not be uot of sync if I got what I wanted now would it.
From spilling pepsi all over my sandwiches to wanting nothing more than to play a video game on a Saturday night, and my crushing frustration when the damn computer decided it had an error with this one damn game I wanted to play!! Grrrr...
I fixed the problem eventually, and played the game till the wee hours. Was a nice way to spend a Saturday night.
..and contrary to popular belief, I'm not the party animal folks seem to take me for.
Tonight I fell asleep in my rocking chair watching a History Channel documentary. twice.
Ok.. Coolness point goes for it being about Sex! Loser point goes for it being about Sex in the Civil War. One more loser point for me watching this while in my rocker. One MORE loser point for it being a History Channel presentation.
*sigh*
It may not be much to any of you, but it's all mine, and I rather enjoy it. Yes, I'm talking about my life.
So that has been my stellar weekend. I'm so tired my eyeballs are throbbing against my eyelids, but I feel like I want to play some video games for a bit, otherwise I will simply sleep till noon and then my whole work routine begins all over again.
Oh.. One last loser point for me... the video game... It's a Dungeons and Dragons game. That's right... I'm badass.
Cheers.
Been meaning to write this out all weekend, and in the back of my mind, when a spare moment presented, I found myself mentally dictating snippets of prose to be added for what you are in fact reading now. You will see some of my minds pre ordered percolated prose in a few moments.
I have to say.... I am pretty beat. Not quite sure how to start stabbing at the veil of this weekend... sooooo, I'll just take big wild swipes that will make this whole blog seem confusing and a bit stuttery.
But hey, that's been the epitome of my weekend. Not bad, not great... but just ever so slightly off. Like someone singing just a fraction of a second behind the music.
This weekend, things just didnt come together as well as I'd have liked.
Boot camp ended Friday night, and it sure ended on a punishing note. To say that I am still sore and cramping is really a quiet understatement. More like, I am woken in the night from the muscle pain. It was pretty epic, to say the least.
Of course, I will go to the next one when it starts up again on the 3rd.
Most of the weekend plans fell through, as I figured they would considering the way this weekend was going, from large things down to the smallest details. Again, not a bad weekend, just...off. Not much you can do about it....
This morning I was up after only 3 hours of sleep to go to the hospital at 8 am. I went and picked up my sister and my niece at that ungodly hour to go visit the Brother In Law; For the sake of this article, privacy, and my still cramping arms, we will refer to him as BiL going forward.
The story starts Thursday at work. I get a call from BiLs boss asking me if I had seen or heard from him this past week, since Monday, and of course I had not, so he asked me to contact Sis and find out if she had... anyway, a flurry of calls and texts ensue and we learn that BiL is in the ICU at Health Sciences Centre and has been for a couple of days now.
Disconcerting, to say the least.
Short version, the details are still frustratingly unclear but BiL either slipped while drunk and banged his head... OR someone clubbed him in the back of the skull and he fell, further exacerbating the head trauma. BiL doesn't seem to have been mugged as he had a fair amount of untouched money in his wallet, and no video has surfaced of an attacker, although there seems to be video of his actual fall. Strange.
So he is out of sorts and very much not himself these days and it has taken it's toll on Sis. She is tough, and to have phone conversations with her sobbing and looking for comfort... this is not a role I am used to.
It's heartbreaking. We went in there today and he seems to recognize Sis and his children alright, but many a wary glance in my general direction.
Although it's very hard not to take it personally, I have to remind myself that he is not in his right headspace... Eventually he seemed to remember who I was and the role I play in his life. Sis told me afterwards when we were driving home that when I took Niece for a walk to the cafeteria, he asked about her and I by our names.
It surprised me how relieved I was to hear it, like a breath I was holding and didn't realize it until I had finally exhaled.
He seems to be doing ok, our BiL. Every day he gets healthier, but he definitely is not who he was and although the doctors assure us that he has a good chance of full recovery physically and mentally, the fear that he will stay the way he is....
Its a very real fear, and it sucks.
So thats how Sunday started.
Then it was off to Walmart. Only to find it closed till noon. And it was eleven am.
So I found a quiet parking lot and changed my long overdue wiper blades, slashing myself like a pro in the process.... just because I'm cool like that.
I went home and did some laundry instead. Then went back to Walmart later in the afternoon...big mistake.
I may have mentioned this in a past post once or twice, but Walmart... I hate you... and crowds... You suck too!
I DID finally accomplish my secret mission to buy a big fan. I think my sleep issues may just go away now with some circulating air and white noise to lull me off to sleep.
I found myself wishing for my pro shopper today. Could have used the hand and the company, but alas... the out of sync weekend would not be uot of sync if I got what I wanted now would it.
From spilling pepsi all over my sandwiches to wanting nothing more than to play a video game on a Saturday night, and my crushing frustration when the damn computer decided it had an error with this one damn game I wanted to play!! Grrrr...
I fixed the problem eventually, and played the game till the wee hours. Was a nice way to spend a Saturday night.
..and contrary to popular belief, I'm not the party animal folks seem to take me for.
Tonight I fell asleep in my rocking chair watching a History Channel documentary. twice.
Ok.. Coolness point goes for it being about Sex! Loser point goes for it being about Sex in the Civil War. One more loser point for me watching this while in my rocker. One MORE loser point for it being a History Channel presentation.
*sigh*
It may not be much to any of you, but it's all mine, and I rather enjoy it. Yes, I'm talking about my life.
So that has been my stellar weekend. I'm so tired my eyeballs are throbbing against my eyelids, but I feel like I want to play some video games for a bit, otherwise I will simply sleep till noon and then my whole work routine begins all over again.
Oh.. One last loser point for me... the video game... It's a Dungeons and Dragons game. That's right... I'm badass.
Cheers.
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