dimming vision...

It's funny what people can and will do to one another... the amount of hurt and selfishness that can be found between a couple.
  Recently I have watched two former couples, with all the biases and issues still standing strong, show a tender love and somehow that is the most heartbreaking thing to witness.
  Very different scenarios. Very different sets of people. Even as they can outright hate their partners... on the same note, that love shines through... like a ray of sun through fence boards. 
  I wish I could fix them.  I wish I could speak my words and make it all better, make them want to fight for each other instead of against each other.  I wish I had the power to make it  right for them because the tender love is still there.  It's hidden behind the mask of pain, but it is most certainly still there.

  And here I am. Struggling so feebly for others' happiness, and not even trying to consider my own...
  Maybe I should be struggling feebly for my own ray of sunshine, the glimpse behind the mask.
  
  If only there were answers.... if only we could steer through these troubled waters... 

  Today I missed you. As with every other day before that...but what does it matter how I feel?  Nothing has changed.

  So... to tie in my title to this meandering blog.... I find my hope in this fabled love dimming and quickly, as with the vision in my one eye.  Every day it is harder to see.  

  Not quite sure what to make of all of that....

 Good night readers.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spin the globe and see where you land

      Funny the difference a season can make.  My last post at the end of Spring had me gearing up for an epic European backpacking trip.  Rome, Naples, Procida Island, Bolzano, and various other stops in Italy before swinging up to Poland to visit with a friend there after staying with a gracious and patient friend in Italy.  Wroclaw was special to see for the historical side of things but more importantly to me, it was the birthplace of my dear friend Margaret.  Slawek, her brother, and I would travel the streets of their youth that they had told me all about over the course of decades... it brought Maggie back a little bit, for a short while.  A special end to a pretty special trip.  Definitely had some bittersweet moments as well but the glory of the Roman ruins, the awe inspiring mountains of the Dolomites, to the excitement of hiking up a winding hillside through dense brush and tree cover to behold the ruins of old castles, meticu...
Read more

Blogwork is Homework is Good Work

 Hello, Gentle Reader,    This blog has always been my way of sharpening my writing chops, or shaking off the rust of my laziness and trying to find my 'voice', as it were, online.  I know, Gentle Reader, that you often do not give feedback, and thats ok.  This space isn't meant as an ego-reach and any and all feedback regarding my posts is appreciated, often more than you might guess, but thats not why I write here.     Most of my drive and reasoning is the simple act of it.  Writing is healthy for the soul and great practice more than anything else, the more practice you put in, the better at it you get... or at least that's what I keep incessantly telling myself, forever hopeful that I am in fact getting 'better' as a writer, whatever that actually means.  I suppose my ability to project my voice comes down to you, Gentle Reader.  I hope you hear me and I am able to project the visuals and a sense of where I am, figuratively as w...
Read more

Fuck this place, I’m out…

I grew up poor.  Really poor. To steal a line from Chris Rock, we grew up so poor we couldn’t afford the O R at the end of the word, we were just PO. hahaha. Still accurate. But my childhood poverty isn’t the point of this post. I mention it because growing up I had to watch all my friends going on family vacations to Disneyland and the Phillipines and Mexico and wherever their families were in the world while I roamed my asphalt jungle like a half wild animal in a cage.   I always vowed that I would see the world someday. It was a fervent childhood promise full of idealism and hope, as only a child can conjure.   In my heartbreak of being left behind and alone to fend for myself all summer, I knew, in my bones…I just KNEW… I’d go out there and see the world some day. Even as those bitter tears streamed down my little cheeks, the fire to see the world, the one I only ever read about in books, burned deep in my soul.  … … … Fast forward a few decades.  I’ve ...
Read more