Back to the Training lab....
Alas, tis true. Although, the sun is out, it's lunchtime, the work is fairly easy, and the bosses are not being too bad at all. Lots of good, not much to bitch about.
I have to say though, it was a real bastard trying to wake up this morning.... all bleary eyed and Einstein haired, stumbling around, grunting like Frankenstein......
So yeah, I'm definitely not a morning person. Pros and cons I suppose, but every weekend, without fail, I revert to my more nocturnal ways. I WAS in bed early last night, heh... 130.
I have decided to try and work my ass off to get back to Japan later this year. Its been almost a year since I was there and I really miss it, and the fun I had there was epic in proportion.... Either that or Mexico sometime next year. I need a vacation. Of course in conjunction with that is my financial dissatisfaction..and a trip will not help that, but what the hell can you do?
All work and no play makes the head explode.
So the single life is pretty interesting, in a boring sort of way. I want to believe that the fairer sex is really not sniffing around my door so soon, that a level of decency would kick in as I am so newly single. The vultures they are a'circling though. not quite sure what to make of that, but awareness is important, and self respect... enough so that I dont get entangled in another future failure. getting tired of those... and being naive about the opposite sex and their motivations is pretty foolish, as I have had to explain more than once in the past few months.
There has been alot of talk about the pain in my eyes. Of course that us usually followed up immediately with some comment about how bitter and angry I am...
Well, I AM angry and bitter. I guess it's just how things will have to be for me.... maybe I will just forward all future prospects to the blog for some heavy reading before they decide to get involved with me... or I with them for that matter.
Relationships.... BUNK! I'm good as I am I think. Finally have my own space, and I enjoy it... my routines and schedules are starting to fall into place, some semblance of normality being frameworked around me.... boundaries are nice. Will start training again tonight, as there is a big tournament in June... well ok, thats misleading... its a tournament for everyone at my club, but thats a fair amount of people... but it should be fun and I want to hold my own and not get destroyed by a 9 year old girl or something hah.....
Theres a podium picture I'd like to see.
Tomorrow... Laundry day!
Well..... the week is shaping up pretty good. I seem to be busy all week long with martial arts, friends, housework, and the weekend will most likely be much of the same.... At least I am keeping busy, and my friends are around. Even the long distance folks... chatted with japanasia yesterday as well as Polandia! those are my two closest friends who are ...well, you can guess where they are. Miss them both, as well as my Edmontonian friend.... running out of wise people to conversate and bounce my thoughts off of. That part is admittedly tough. the ex was at least a sounding board, although there was never any feedback or advice.
I do realize that I need someone who can and does equal me. Someone with opinions but the wisdom to be able to back down when needed. Also stand when needed. My friends understand and know how to do this. I just need to find someone who can do that as more than a friend. hah.... good luck with all that, I say!
For the record... I am done looking. I was done this past time and was ambushed.. but seriously now I am completely gunshy. I'm just getting too damn old for this shit.
Someone says they need you to trust more, so you do..and then they say they are afraid to trust you...so they hold back but demand that you give and give? Retarded!
...and thats from someone who made it past my very picky screening process. I'm just tired of people who cant deal with or try to fix the glaring problems they have.... especially when something important is on the line... fuckin baffling!
Aw well, I am just mini ranting now it seems... this extended lunch break minus a book to read causes me to write..... and make sure you read it with a monotone internal voice... like Ferris Beullers teacher.... because so far this blog is just that boring. In fact I'm feeling like my writing abilities are absolutely in the shitter. Rusty I suppose.... I haven't been working the ole brain muscle as much as I should. Time to change that. On many levels.
My sandwich is drying out.. fuck.
I have to say though, it was a real bastard trying to wake up this morning.... all bleary eyed and Einstein haired, stumbling around, grunting like Frankenstein......
So yeah, I'm definitely not a morning person. Pros and cons I suppose, but every weekend, without fail, I revert to my more nocturnal ways. I WAS in bed early last night, heh... 130.
I have decided to try and work my ass off to get back to Japan later this year. Its been almost a year since I was there and I really miss it, and the fun I had there was epic in proportion.... Either that or Mexico sometime next year. I need a vacation. Of course in conjunction with that is my financial dissatisfaction..and a trip will not help that, but what the hell can you do?
All work and no play makes the head explode.
So the single life is pretty interesting, in a boring sort of way. I want to believe that the fairer sex is really not sniffing around my door so soon, that a level of decency would kick in as I am so newly single. The vultures they are a'circling though. not quite sure what to make of that, but awareness is important, and self respect... enough so that I dont get entangled in another future failure. getting tired of those... and being naive about the opposite sex and their motivations is pretty foolish, as I have had to explain more than once in the past few months.
There has been alot of talk about the pain in my eyes. Of course that us usually followed up immediately with some comment about how bitter and angry I am...
Well, I AM angry and bitter. I guess it's just how things will have to be for me.... maybe I will just forward all future prospects to the blog for some heavy reading before they decide to get involved with me... or I with them for that matter.
Relationships.... BUNK! I'm good as I am I think. Finally have my own space, and I enjoy it... my routines and schedules are starting to fall into place, some semblance of normality being frameworked around me.... boundaries are nice. Will start training again tonight, as there is a big tournament in June... well ok, thats misleading... its a tournament for everyone at my club, but thats a fair amount of people... but it should be fun and I want to hold my own and not get destroyed by a 9 year old girl or something hah.....
Theres a podium picture I'd like to see.
Tomorrow... Laundry day!
Well..... the week is shaping up pretty good. I seem to be busy all week long with martial arts, friends, housework, and the weekend will most likely be much of the same.... At least I am keeping busy, and my friends are around. Even the long distance folks... chatted with japanasia yesterday as well as Polandia! those are my two closest friends who are ...well, you can guess where they are. Miss them both, as well as my Edmontonian friend.... running out of wise people to conversate and bounce my thoughts off of. That part is admittedly tough. the ex was at least a sounding board, although there was never any feedback or advice.
I do realize that I need someone who can and does equal me. Someone with opinions but the wisdom to be able to back down when needed. Also stand when needed. My friends understand and know how to do this. I just need to find someone who can do that as more than a friend. hah.... good luck with all that, I say!
For the record... I am done looking. I was done this past time and was ambushed.. but seriously now I am completely gunshy. I'm just getting too damn old for this shit.
Someone says they need you to trust more, so you do..and then they say they are afraid to trust you...so they hold back but demand that you give and give? Retarded!
...and thats from someone who made it past my very picky screening process. I'm just tired of people who cant deal with or try to fix the glaring problems they have.... especially when something important is on the line... fuckin baffling!
Aw well, I am just mini ranting now it seems... this extended lunch break minus a book to read causes me to write..... and make sure you read it with a monotone internal voice... like Ferris Beullers teacher.... because so far this blog is just that boring. In fact I'm feeling like my writing abilities are absolutely in the shitter. Rusty I suppose.... I haven't been working the ole brain muscle as much as I should. Time to change that. On many levels.
My sandwich is drying out.. fuck.
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