The Art Of Washing Dishes

*edit - posted with sisterly permission… so you know it’s legit! Thanks Ro….

Okay, so I have a dishwasher and I’ve even used it… twice. Is it convenient? Yep. Efficient, meh. Does it work well? Not really. 

This post isn’t a critique on my household appliances though, it’s a post about my sister and nephew (boom! Plot twist)

Josh and I share a birthday so immediately he’s a pretty cool little dude. I suppose he isn’t so little anymore though and he’s got his challenges in life.  A big one is impulse control and lashing out. Controlling his emotions and regulating is difficult.. I mean, we’ve all had our moments, right? 

I worry about him. He’s a good kid with a couple of strikes against him and that’s life. Shit happens, we get dealt the hand we get dealt and we play the game of life. 

But that doesn’t mean a decent uncle, possibly one who happens to share a birthday with the kid, couldn’t show him a few tricks, an Ace up the sleeve if you will, to help him navigate life.  

Maybe.  There are no guarantee’s and that’s the only guarantee.  

My sister, nephew and brother in law live about 3500 kms from me.  I fly out whenever I can and they have made a couple of visits out to me but the country is big and life is life, it happens, so I try to have some connection and influence on the lives of the people I care about, especially the younger ones who still think I’m funny and cool… little idiots 😊. 

 He’s a teen now and mastering his temper and emotional overload is a critical concern and I think about ways to help where and when I can with that. It’s tricky. 

  Annnnnyway.  I flew and drove 3500 kms to do my sisters dishes.  

I love her. She’s a turd sometimes, as sisters (the younger ones are the worst) tend to be but I also know her well enough to see she’s struggling. Her MS is a big thing and a hard thing and it’s a lot. I just wanted to help make her life a little easier.  We also only saw each other for a total of twenty minutes this entire trip and that sucks but that’s how it goes. Better a little time than no time at all, I suppose. 

  I woke up and she had gone to work already so I went and cleaned her kitchen a bit. She also has a dishwasher but today was a two pronged movement of me helping her.  I’d clean her kitchen a little bit… and I’d try to teach my nephew the art of doing dishes. 

  I roped the sneaky little bugger into it by asking for towels to dry the dishes. He brought them and before he knew it, I’d totally Huckleberry Finned him into helping me. I showed him over and over how to wash a dish; “Josh, you start by cleaning the edges and then the bottom and then the backside. And if there’s a handle you wipe that down last’. Over and over, rinse and repeat (haha a little dishwashing joke in the industry). I proceeded to Miyagi him into a pattern of wiping the edges, the bottom, flip over and wipe that,put dish away.  We had a lot of work to do and I didn’t realize how much of my precious little time I chewed up but I think (I hope) it was worth it. If nothing else, we spent some quality uncle/nephew time chatting and listening to some tunes as we worked together. 

  We did a lot and I forced him to wash some really nasty pans for the fun and experience of it (mostly my own fun muahahhah).  I then told him a simple fact of life. 

 The world is hard and unfair and it never quits being tough.  When you have a bad day at school what do you do? 

  I punch a wall or yell

Ok. So now, instead of those things which aren’t the best way to cope… now, you do dishes.  When you’re sad, you wash dishes. Angry? Wash dishes. Having a meltdown at school, ask to wash the dishes. The teachers lounge will be full of em. 

  Through out the day as we hung out, I’d randomly ask him, ‘Joshy, what’s the word?’ 

‘Ummmmm’

-I’d mimic washing a dish

‘Dishes?’ (In a very trembly but confident voice… 👀

Yes, I’d reply. Over and over. 

The idea here is simple. Emotionally overwhelmed, a person can lash out… if he remembers the trick, he can go and physically burn that energy and calm down a bit (hopefully). 

If nothing else, he can help his struggling mum with a bit of the mental load of housework. 

I’ll call that a win/win and my reign as coolest (okayest) uncle and brother will continue unabated. 

I didn’t go all that way to do dishes. But in a way, it’s exactly why I went.