A Bachelors Blog

  I've had a pretty rough year and a half. The new year has held promise but out of the blue my life has gone from secure and stable to a giant question mark on pretty much all levels of my life.    I'm not a 'live in the moment' kind of guy. I'm happiest with routines and a sense of safety and security.  I plan, weeks and months and years into the future and I love when the plans work out, it's comforting. I often think too much about a situation that I'm constantly reminding myself that I have exactly zero power to influence or control. I spend a lot of time with the internal monologue 'just relax, man. Whatever happens, happens.'    ... And then I spend another half an hour trying to see all the angles, plan and prepare for every possible outcome, girding myself for the worst, yet hoping for the best.    It's exhausting.    These past couple of weeks have been weird for me but I'm really focused on the simple moments. When my brain de...

You ever have one of those nights where you have a bad dream and it wakes you up only to keep you awake?  Yeaaaah well it's after 4 am and 3 hours of sleep/trying to sleep have left my brain thinking too much.    It's time to write!  I haven't really said much about my Dog. Ahhhhh, where to begin?  This is Moxie! I rescued her just over a year ago at Christmas time. She had had a bit of a rough life prior to my adopting her. A lot of neglect and abuse left her roaming free in the country side for weeks in the cold, eventually ending with her capture as well as amputating the toes on her front paw, it's the paw I adroitly refer to as her communicating paw.  I call it that because she uses it to smack my phone out of my hands when she wants my attention. We communicate a lot.    This picture is a recent decent. 90 lbs and 4 years old, still thinks and acts like a lap puppy.    I had been looking around for a dog online and I had seen the p...

  This last year has been probably the second hardest year of my life and I can honestly tell you, gentle reader, that I'm happy to put it behind me.    Before I do that though, I'm writing this post to sort of help me organize this chapter somewhat in my mind because as difficult as it actually was, there were victories and positives all along the way.    This has been a year of losses.  From the yo yo girlfriend situation all year to the cancer losses to the two murders and a suicide. I've buried too many people lately and have put up with a lot of idiotic childishness from 'adults' that I no longer associate with.    Let's call this the learning and growing curve. More and more I am realizing what I do and don't want in my life and will actively seek out the good and cull the herd of the bad/infirm/negative. Just not good for growth or any sort of positive hope for a future. In short, shitty people will weigh you down.    The deaths.....

It's been quite some time since I last scrawled anything of meaning in here and im feeling that catholic guilt start to weigh on me. Never mind the fact that I'm getting rusty as hell by procrastinating.  As I sit here in my work van, barrelling down the highway to get home, (Im not  driving by the way) watching the countryside blur past me in the spring sunshine, im trying to allow my mind to wander a bit. To think about some of the what ifs of life and the maybes that are always lurking around the next bend.  I've failed at a few things that I really put my heart and soul into and that sucks. I've also succeeded in a few areas that im inordinately proud of myself over.  The big picture is still a wee bit blurry and out of focus but as I work on things slowly, I'm starting to feel the edges of this great big thing called my life, like a man feeling his way through a dark room.  I really miss writing and im doubling my efforts to build a habit of writing in my d...

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I'm writing this blog on my phone which was not how I wanted to craft this piece. Silly me, I wanted to actually use my laptop for once.  Alas, google has bought out blogger and their stupid password protection locks me out every time and for some strange reason, I simply cannot remember what my login info actually is. So there's that.    Resilience. As shown tonight, I can bounce away from the frustrations of security that is simply too secure and simply fall back on the phone 'back door' sign in method.  I prefer not to write this way but, well.. You know... Screw you, Google.   I was speaking with someone who described me as resilient and I had to stop and think about that awhile. We always look at our lives through a certain filter of time and experience and, for some, censorship. I have chosen to live my life a very specific and admittedly difficult way but it's honest and I find that there's a level of integrity there.    Most people don't k...

...and it's raining. Aside from this fairly abysmal summer weather, it's been a pretty amazing few months for me and I can only hope the same for you, gentle reader.    Ask me last year how I would envision my life just one year later and i wouldn't have even guessed that things would go the way they have, all on the positive side of the balance sheet no less.    I'm a week home from yet another amazing trip to see my family on the East Coast, this time with The Girl along for the ride, hands firmly clasped and eyes wide open.  We had ourselves an adventurous four days and learned a lot about one another that only travelling and driving for many hours together can reveal. All told, it was fantastic. I'll post a few choice pictures.    No longer a banker, and never again. My time in financials is well and truly over and to be honest and fair to myself as well as my loyal fans... Banking is a soul sucking experience that forces one to compromise on their...