A Bachelors Blog

So! You've gotten yourself a first date! Let me start by offering my congratulations and seconding that with a simple mantra... Breathe.   No matter how this has come to pass, either through a blind date, a friend/family/co-worker setting you up, or your active and diligent vetting of potential candidates from a dating site...    Oh Plenty Of Harmony, you're a life (and relationship) saver You are now involved. Everyone knows that the first impression is always the lasting and generally the most important one so of course there will be a slight bit of pressure, possibly a little nervous butterfly fluttering in your stomach?   I'm so nervous that I just gnawed off my fingers. This is like a bad Saw movie! Well, gentle reader, I am here to help! As a weatherer of many a first date storm, I have picked up on a few handy pointers and ideas to help make the experience a more enjoyable one.   Ultimately that first date will be dictated by how you presen...

  Whenever I think about pain, I always think about that robaxacet commercial. You know the one, with the Marionette getting jabbed with the pins? "I ain't no voodoo doll, asshole, cut it out!"   I always felt vaguely sorry for this little guy. Good marketing? I suppose so if I'm plugging their product on my blog right now. Sneaky ad execs... They know their business! "Well played, you cunning bastids. Well played."   I'm certain that advertising is how the world is truly being controlled by a nefarious and exceptionally evil bad ass! "I own this game. It's still awesome after a decade. Shut up.  Don't judge me." Also note the marionette allusion. Yeah, I'm pretty pimp like that.     I digress yet again.  Pain. We notice it as we are getting a little bit older. As a kid and a younger man I used to define pain by colour; a gash on my arm was a reddish yellow fire. Nausea was always a pea soup green. Dull aches and older injuries are ...

"...the words they use so lightly I only feel for you..." http://youtu.be/LIc6OIPZMHg

I will start this blog with an apology. I'm nearing exhaustion so my stream of consciousness is more like a trickle right now... Or numerous rivulets spider webbing in all sorts of directions.    Fancy words for 'I'm probably going to babble'   I decided to take the new Daft Punk album for a spin while I write and the eclectic music is a lot less dance funk and a lot heavier in an almost seventies-esque disco funk. Not unpleasant but I think it's mood music. As in I'm not sure I'm in the mood for this right now.    Random access memories, if you're interested in listening, dear reader.   Now for a fun story - So there I am, sitting in the pub with my brother, having a beer and sorting out the details of our upcoming hockey season when our third member comes striding right into the bar, making a bee line right for us and unceremoniously dumps THIS into my arms! (ZOMG WHAT DO I DO?????)   Step one. DO NOT DROP!! This is Stephen, my friends 3 month o...

   I'm fairly certain I would get no bloggy type writing done at all if it weren't for this mobile app. Writing from the comfort of home has perks like ease of access for online additions to the post, no battery concerns, as well as loungability.    I made that word up. It's real now. I'm a wordsmith, I do that shit.   I'm at the lake writing this, and as I'm writing, a spider just trotted past me. In front of my very eyes.  On this bed. That I'm sleeping in tonight.  Was. WAS sleeping in. I think(?) I killed it.  Hard to tell with the bed sheets being the colour they are and all.   Well...Shit.  Ok, forging ahead... It's the lake, we're roughing it out here. For example, we watched a 1080p movie on a 720i TV!!  The resolutions!!! It's all wrong, man!  #civilizedproblems   I'm listening to the relentless waves crashing away on the beach just outside the window and as cool as the afternoon became, the water was wa...

I seem to have a knack for writing on the fly.... In My minds eye it will be perfect but reality is always a splash of cold water...    I am of course drunk as I try to write this. I am dizzy and and angry and hurt and stuck in this stupid moment.    Pragmatic Ryan says "hey, this was a  conclusion" and my bits and parts follow suit, but that doesn't mean I don't feel the sting.    I know this is a one sided event and that I'm powerless to do anything about it but it doesn't change the fact that I think jrsnan ibsy  --- ok so this is my blog from last night. It started strong and poignant and literally slipped into jibberish. Talk about mapping out a train wreck.    I feel better today though and I'm glad this didn't continue.  This, 'diatribe' against a certain Catholic. It's legit.    I'm hung over and my contacts are stuck to my eyes, never a pleasant feeling.  It really does feel like a cat used my mouth for a lit...

  I'm waiting for my Doctor. Again. She is worth it though so my patience continues. I'm writing this simply to stay awake because I'm simply drained. I can't even keep my eyes open for the book I'm reading so its writing or snoozing in the waiting room and that very elderly bald fellow two seats has shifty eyes and nimble fingers.    I inherently distrust spry old folks. Its a thing.    Stuck waiting forces you to think where normally the blessed noise of life will be a soothing white blanket of sound to wash away those pesky thoughts, or better yet, be a bug zapper to the incessant buzzing  around my head.    Of course life doesn't work that way really, and I'm a thinker, all the way through. It has its charms (I'm pretty good at learning from my mistakes, I can give you a pretty good go at chess and it helps with writing lame blogs), but any thinker will inevitably confess to the down sides; restlessness, sleeplessness, self doubt, confusion, f...