A Bachelors Blog

This post has absolutely nothing to do with this most amazing of bands... besides the fact that I am currently listening to Hey Hey What Can I Do, by them....plus a crap load of others. We are told to write what we know. You know... THEY tell us this...whoever they are. But in fairness to "the Man" I was actually told this by more than one reputable writer. Margaret Atwood and Tad Williams both were decent enough to respond to me in a 'non-formulaic' style. You know... they actually responded to me normally instead of through form letters or their assistants. Write what you know. I want to write again, and the itch is on me almost all the time, like a tickle in the ear or a low buzzing in the background that you just cant drown out with music, sleep, sex, or any other distraction. ...So it begs the question... what DO I know exactly? I know that I need to lick my fingers to scrape the lint out of the lint trap. I know that Ebraking is the most fun you can poss...

... I have not written here since the passing of someone important to me this past summer, and now that the leaves have fallen and the cold weather marches inexorably towards us, it would seem that life is dishing out some more trouble. Yet another break up under the belt. I'm getting pretty good at them, sadly. One quick argument and its over. Fairly painless... for the most part anyway, I suppose. Someone very close to me is going into the hospital for heart surgery this coming week, and it has been weighing on me for awhile now. I daresay it helped along the recent breakup. Stress being what it is, anyway. Close people to me are splitting up after a long while together...and that has a sense of personal failure for me, as if I were the glue in that relationship...which, looking back, I very well may have been to a small degree. The strand of thread that they were hanging on by. So much sadness in such a short time. I may need to fly away in a day or two, dependin...

...for Baba. Goodnight dear one, with heart of courage It's time to sleep, rest well earned The days were hard, the road less travelled But you walked it all, from first to last You showed us grace, and generosity in bounds there is none like you, this world is less You have earned this, and it was your time and as usual you made it work out how you wanted In our hearts, we know you are happy in that better place of peace and serenity I hope you are comfortable and warm I hope they treat you right up there I hope to greet you some day later with your wet sloppy kisses and blessed cooking a heart of gold truly beautiful A spirit that saw more than most, staying pure So sleep now, rest those weary feet know that we are okay down here we miss you sorely, its a dull ache we will think of the good times and the happiness we will honor you and cherish the memory A truly good and decent person... someone with enough room in her heart even for strays... and this stray just wants to say, Sl...

So I wrote my last post in an attempt to peel something from my conscience that had been nagging and chewing at me for awhile, and I thought confronting the person would be the key to some small measure of peace for me. Well. Sort of, sort of not. The steps I took I do not regret though, under the circumstances. Sometimes you have to make a decision based on what information is arrayed before you, and move on that, even if it is incomplete. I received news the very next day (Aug 1) regarding something that made this issue I was struggling with (And yes I am grossly negligent with details, protecting the situation and all persons involved. This may really only end up making sense to me but sometimes thats as it must be) Synapses - I am stressing over an issue with a person for awhile and confront them. As it turns out, things sort of go well. I get in trouble (What else is new with me?) from a boss because of it due to miscommunication.. so I need to make a second and proper a...

I'm reading an exceptionally long series of book...(it will be a twelve book series once it finishes next year) and the depth, scope and detail to are rather mind boggling. The webs of intrigue are complex and tricky, the plot twists like a snake under a stick, and character development is deeply involving and detailed. I enjoy these types of reads. A great deal. But sometimes, life imitates art...or art imitates reality...I'm still not sure about that one, but either way I find myself ina bit of a ... conundrum. I am so locked into this web of another persons devising that any move I make will 'shake the web' so to speak. Every angle I look at it leaves me vulnerable and ultimately all roads lead to a not-pleasant end for old Ryan. If I were a character in one of my books.... I would be marked for death. No matter how high the moral ground I stand on.... people are people, and revenge is a strike back option. Even by saying nothing at all.... I am in peril, ju...

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking When you fall everyone stands Another day and you've had your fill of sinking With the life held in your... Hands are shaking cold These hands are meant to hold Speak to me, when are you gonna keep it strong Move along, move along like I know ya do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through move along move along So a day when you've lost yourself completely Could be a night when your life ends Such a heart that will lead you to deceivin All the days held in your... Hands are shaking cold Your hands are mine to hold Speak to me, when are you gonna keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through Move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) when every thing is wrong, we move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) when every thing is wrong, we move along along, along (we move along),along [Softly:] When are you gonna k...

Ah, the wise words of Jimmy Eat World. As a belated birthday gift I was invited to the recent show here in the city, and yes...they kicked multiple layers of ass!! I was very impressed with the live presence and the solid sound they had, it was a great gift from a fellow J.E.W. lover... thats the band, not the race I am speaking of...not that there is anything wrong with Jews mind you... I love my Jewish friends too.... ...and now I dig myself deeper. Moving right along... For a writing blog, there really isn't much happening in that department, and I only wish I could find more time to visit and spew out my creative 'genius' *wink wink* I'm allowed to call it genius, the rest of you all...well I will leave it up to interpretation. It's funny (UH OH, not HA HA) that whenever I feel like writing I have tons of ideas and thoughts to put down, and once I am here.. it all drains away like water in a desert. Some days it is just like that, no help for it. Today ...