A Bachelors Blog

I'm reading an exceptionally long series of book...(it will be a twelve book series once it finishes next year) and the depth, scope and detail to are rather mind boggling. The webs of intrigue are complex and tricky, the plot twists like a snake under a stick, and character development is deeply involving and detailed. I enjoy these types of reads. A great deal. But sometimes, life imitates art...or art imitates reality...I'm still not sure about that one, but either way I find myself ina bit of a ... conundrum. I am so locked into this web of another persons devising that any move I make will 'shake the web' so to speak. Every angle I look at it leaves me vulnerable and ultimately all roads lead to a not-pleasant end for old Ryan. If I were a character in one of my books.... I would be marked for death. No matter how high the moral ground I stand on.... people are people, and revenge is a strike back option. Even by saying nothing at all.... I am in peril, ju...

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking When you fall everyone stands Another day and you've had your fill of sinking With the life held in your... Hands are shaking cold These hands are meant to hold Speak to me, when are you gonna keep it strong Move along, move along like I know ya do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through move along move along So a day when you've lost yourself completely Could be a night when your life ends Such a heart that will lead you to deceivin All the days held in your... Hands are shaking cold Your hands are mine to hold Speak to me, when are you gonna keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through Move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) when every thing is wrong, we move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) when every thing is wrong, we move along along, along (we move along),along [Softly:] When are you gonna k...

Ah, the wise words of Jimmy Eat World. As a belated birthday gift I was invited to the recent show here in the city, and yes...they kicked multiple layers of ass!! I was very impressed with the live presence and the solid sound they had, it was a great gift from a fellow J.E.W. lover... thats the band, not the race I am speaking of...not that there is anything wrong with Jews mind you... I love my Jewish friends too.... ...and now I dig myself deeper. Moving right along... For a writing blog, there really isn't much happening in that department, and I only wish I could find more time to visit and spew out my creative 'genius' *wink wink* I'm allowed to call it genius, the rest of you all...well I will leave it up to interpretation. It's funny (UH OH, not HA HA) that whenever I feel like writing I have tons of ideas and thoughts to put down, and once I am here.. it all drains away like water in a desert. Some days it is just like that, no help for it. Today ...

So being the uberdork that I am, I found a link to the Martian Weather. It's embedded right in the regular weather website... so yes, I float on the weather websites. And now the Martian weather sites. Don't ask me how I came to be like this, just accept it and move on. BUT, aside from this first week or normal summertime weather, it really has not been a great year but I find that Mars isnt faring much better. They are ranging from -80 to -30 celcius each day, but I have to admit that it's a bit surreal to know that it's a sunny day out there, or sun with dust clouds... I love technology, it's the new magic. And so much damned fun!! That being said... I have cleared myself some vacation back in May. Was nice to visit with some family I never get to spend time with, and just to get away from my life for a week. Sometimes you just need to unplug and walk away from things for awhile, even if it's only to appreciate it all once you reconnect. I have fo...

Needless to say, I have been somewhat busy. This blog was meant as a creative outlet for me, a vehicle to get back into the proverbial swing of things regarding my raw writing ability. I had hoped (and still do) to hone and de-rustify my admittedly hazy writing 'talent' as it were. But life, being what it is, has caused many pit stops, obstacles, shiny things and distractions of varying levels all along the way. Yes. Life causes shiny things. Don't argue, just nod and smile along with me. So I sit here listening to a song about love and maps, with one eyed cat entrenched firmly in my lap, watching every keystroke I make with decidedly lack luster enthusiasm. I have set a goal of writing for one hour every day or at least making a valiant attempt at it, even if it means sitting in front of my computer and picking at my finger nails in bored frustration. It's my writing hour! 6 weeks and it will be a habit. I have even, just now, sacrificed playing Rock Band ...

Sick sick SICK! I hate it and I want my body to start rejecting some of these freaking virus and bacterium crawling their way through me. Got good and sick around Christmas time...Bronchitis. Joy :-( I guess now this will be the norm for me....it better not dammit! Cold FX is on my side....I can't afford to be sick.... And for a writing junkie...I seem to be in heavy withdrawal. Actually I'm just disgustingly busy with all sorts of crazy things these days that suck up time like a fat kid with a slurpee. Was wandering into the soup kitchen where I volunteer this past Friday, and I noticed an odd fellow staring at my car with a quirky smile on his face. And damn he looked familiar.... He said, "Hey nice Autobots sticker!" referring to my childlike need to turn my vehicle into a toy I used to have as a kid. We chatted for a few moments and he asked if I knew so and so...and I said I did, and then we realized we once went to church together. Small world. ...

I’m really struggling here. I’m trying pretty damn hard to make some sense of where I am and what I am looking for, and so far it is a twisting path leading in big roundabout circles. Rather annoying to be honest. It’s the note about the dream. It’s the book about finding our way. It’s the ceaseless unease sitting directly in the middle of my stomach like some kind of bullseye waiting for the arrow to hit it’s mark. The good news... as it were. 1) Im not alone. Not by a long shot. 2) The process, whatever it is for me, takes a long time. 3) Even the act of questioning and writing all of this down right now is a step. .. Towards what? I have no idea really. I have some naive hopes and foolish aspirations. What do I want to do? What do I want to be? Who am I? Where is my heart tugging and railing to go to? Okay... try to break it down just a little bit... one piece of the puzzle at a time. My job. I am pretty damn close to truly being unhappy there. Every day gets harder. What...